The secret of our freedom (Disidentification I)

Self-mastery and self-regulation – 6

“We are dominated by everything with which we are identified. We can dominate and control everything from which we disidentify ourselves.”

R. Assagioli

It is the opposite and complementary process to that of stagnant or rigid identification with partial aspects of oneself. It allows the “I” to break free from the elements of the personality with which it was hitherto identified. Therefore, Psychosynthesis underlines the central importance of becoming fully aware of the differences between consciousness itself and the aspects or contents of consciousness, between subject and object, between the one “who” is aware and the “what” one has awareness of, knowing we “have” parts/characteristics etc., but we are not our parts/characteristics etc.

Disidentification is based on the following psychological law:

“We are dominated by everything with which we are identified.
We can dominate and control everything from which we disidentify ourselves.”

Assagioli (1965, p. 22) considers this principle “the secret of our enslavement or of our freedom” and writes: “every time we identify ourselves with a weakness, a fault, a fear or any personal emotion or drive, we limit and paralyse ourselves”. Similarly, we might add, we can limit and paralyse ourselves even when we identify with a quality, a virtue, a gift, because “detachment must also be practised with regard to good things. In fact, nothing, in principle, should overwhelm the “I” (Assagioli, 2022).”

And it is precisely this equanimous attitude towards the various contents of the psyche, sufficiently free from attachment and aversion, that allows a true integration of the unconscious in all its levels (lower, middle, upper). Equanimity allows to be sufficiently “solid” and “open” to welcome both the regressed, immature and somewhat distorted parts, and the most enlightened, and perhaps less familiar, parts of ourselves.

It is out of this disidentified attitude that acceptance can blossom. In this sense, we could define our capacity for acceptance as a function of the degree of disidentification achieved at any given moment and, vice versa, we may view our capacity for disidentification as a function of the degree of acceptance we have reached.

“I” identified with a part feeling attachment / aversion to a certain psychic content

I disidentified and self-identified

eagerness, enthusiasm, impetuousness, exaltation, fanaticism, compliance, subjection, lack of discernment, lack of respect, euphoria, fascination…

and/or

numbness, indifference, insensitivity, defensiveness, judgment/prejudice, condemnation, rejection, guilt, shame, humiliation, irritation, anxiety, depression.

Acceptance, equanimity, presence, openness, sensitivity, compassion, dynamism, containment, liberation, benevolence, dignity, humour, energy.

Promotes exclusion and division

Promotes integration and synthesis