Disidentifying means, above all, creating a psychic space where all the elements of our personality (all of our sensations, desires, emotions, thoughts, and various subpersonalities) can be known, welcomed, and integrated. When we disidentify, we adopt the attitude of the observer, and can become the directors of our lives, emancipating ourselves from addictive and automatic behaviours. We can gain more and more freedom of movement: rather than “falling” mechanically into certain behavioural patterns, or subpersonalities, we can actively choose the most creative and adaptive attitudes to suit the situation.

It is particularly important to underline that the fundamental precondition for an authentic experience of disidentification

is the true knowledge and acceptance of that which we are disidentifying from (see Acceptance Technique).

In fact, if we utilise this practice without having developed enough acceptance of who we are, and above all of our limitations and flaws, we run the risk of creating further fragmentation, distress and suffering rather than promoting integration, transformation and wellbeing. Disidentification helps us find a source of strength and power in ourselves – our “I”, our inner centre – but this does not mean we will have an inflated sense of ourselves, or any delusions of omnipotence.

Disidentification is not an anaesthetic, a way of numbing things, nor does it entail blaming, condemning and supressing. If the practice of disidentification were to generate a judgemental attitude, or feelings of shame, guilt, anxiety or irritation, we can be sure that what has been activated is our inner judge, one of our subpersonalities, rather than our observer, the “I”.

The genuine experience of disidentification promotes openness, sensibility, flexibility, and it generates the capacity to welcome and contain our various parts. Authentic disidentification makes us free. It nurtures our development and promotes an inner attitude of equanimity, benevolence, dignity, humour, joy and serenity. We can illustrate this distinction as follows (Guggisberg Nocelli, 2017):

When we see through the eyes of a subpersonality – Numbness, indifference, shutting down from emotions, censoring, repression, rigidity, block, heaviness, oppression, suffering, inner struggle, judgment, guilt, shame, rejection, contempt, irritation, anxiety, depression.

When we see through the “I”, the loving observer – Openness, relaxation, inclusion, sensibility, compassion, movement, containment, flow, development, benevolence, dignity, humour, care, equanimity, trust, lovingness.